January 6, 2021. The day the U.S. Capitol building was invaded by a riotous mob, angry, destroying property that belongs to all of us, citizens of these un-united States, unleashing their pent-up fury, after being encouraged by…..you all know what happened.
I am interested in WHY. Why were crowds of people so ready to believe that votes that had been monitored, checked and audited were really fraudulent? Why did people latch onto slogans and symbols of white supremacy, right-wing power and antisemitism?
What does that have to do with Nahalat Shalom, a peace loving, liberal and openminded Jewish congregation located far from the steps of the Capital?
I am reading an interesting book called “Together; the Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World”. Written by Dr. Vivek Murthy, the next Surgeon General of the US, he’s also the former Surgeon General, having served from 2014-2017. He is interested in loneliness, which he describes as a public health crisis. He discusses the differences between isolation, loneliness, and solitude, recognizing that we can feel lonely in a crowd and can also feel not at all lonely when choosing to spend time alone in nature or in meditation. He illustrates how loneliness can contribute to both mental and physical ailments.
Based on the work of other researchers, Dr. Murthy describes three very different kinds of loneliness. “Intimate, or emotional loneliness is the longing for a close confidant or intimate partner - someone in who you share a deep mutual bond of affection and trust. Relational, or social, loneliness is the yearning for quality friendships and social compassion and support. Collective loneliness is the hunger for a network or community of people who share your sense of purpose and interests.”
On the evening of January 6, a sizable proportion of the membership of Nahalat Shalom gathered on Zoom, with little notice and incredibly quick organization, to support each other after the news of the chaos in Washington DC. Lay leaders and clergy, members and supporters, all wanted to be together. With prayer, chant, song and ritual, this almost completely spontaneous gathering enabled us to share our feelings and reactions in a supportive, open and loving way.
This was partially a reaction to the potential for social loneliness…wanting to be together with others for compassionate understanding at a time of confusion and concern. But more than that, it was an expression of collective community, a recognition that camaraderie and fellowship are necessary, and that shared values lead to closeness and trust. That’s what ‘congregation” is about….a group of people who choose to congregate, not isolate, who choose inclusion and exploration, not self serving rejection of ‘the other’, an assorted and heterogeneous group that finds companionship, support and solace with each other.
Perhaps the participants in these angry mobs are disaffected, looking for an antidote to their increasing social isolation—they fear they are being left behind by the changing demographics and political inclinations of the country. They are afraid and they are angry upon discovering that the story they are being ‘fed’ may not be true. They react to collective loneliness by joining with others who share their misguided sense of purpose. The hate groups they join promise social acceptance by excluding and demonizing those who are different in skin color, religion, ethnicity, gender, class or some other characteristic. Promises of ‘winning’ tantalize with expectations of belonging. When a collective based on hatred comes to a boil, people die.
Underneath the reprehensible behavior we saw at the US Capitol was a mass expression of the results of collective loneliness, egged on by an egotist and exploding into uncontrolled violence.
What happened on that evening on the Nahalat Shalom zoom was the OPPOSITE…..a fountain of caring, a gentle holding of collective emotions, a flow of kindness. Sympathy, support, understanding, connection were all there, as we decided to be there for each other.
I am proud to be part of a group of people who congregate by choice, who recognize that we need each other, and who are dealing with the pressures of living in this highly charged society by loving more, caring more, and opening more to ourselves and to each other.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Min Kantrowitz